And so it is..

And so it is
..just like I thought it would be..I finally saw my musical influence " Brandon boyd of Incubus" along with linkin park this week it was aaaaahhh amazing !! :)) What a rush,although it wasnt long enough it was great anyway..not to mention treated like a queen) in the presence of another for several days. Gosh, what the hell have I been doing here all along?!  Lol! Ive missed out on so much and more!! Its funny when you have something so neat and real in front of ya then you ignore and stray away. I dunno its late night, have alot on my mind,new goals in process with my band. Now new thoughts, of people..perspectives.. whos real whos not? Who I want around more and who I want to part from. When I part its cause Im simply scared..when I remain close, I feel safe & comfty with the person female or male. It takes very little  mistakes for me to rid a friend or lover..and it takes a lot for me to stick around. Im extremely complicated and picky. I admit it. I giged late tonite,so beat from my adventurous weekend at the beach and trip to H-town! Too fun,exciting great really happy. It made me think of where I want to be..right now. I came back home,thinkin bigger as far as leaving the valley. Watching  musical influences rock do what they love, being in a big city,the life.. the little stress I felt because of  the generousity and gratitude that was given to me.I was  finally taken care of for once. It felt good to know good people are out there. They exist. Aside of the random thoughts and vibes im feeling.. I am content.There's so much more out there. So much to be done,so many other people to meet ,greet bond, care for and appreciate. Big show manana. Over the late night blogging lol! And so it is...just like I said,..it should be..Nighty!! Peace n Love :)
Xoxo
Bella

Take it ,like it is!

I have to get this out of my chest! I am single now, determined, and focusing on music like I have been. I cannot stand superficial friends and guys that surround me. Like I owe them something more,when I receive less? Wow, Relationships, I aint  looking.I usually dont. I got a great band,good handset of pals,health ,family thats all I need and want ,and a future I want to make happen sooner than later. If people want to be in my life or cycle then,they need a good head on their shoulders big heart,down to earth...considerate and confident.! Both women and men. I dont need shady snake whores surrounding my presence or player little boys who ruin my creativity and both takes a toll on my energy and so forth. I can only move foward and not  step back. The past is a past for a legitiment reason both relationships,partnerships and even some friends.

I do not care nor wanna know any drama, I dont have time. I dont wanna be in the middle of nothing cause I am who I am and do what I desire. I have goals like any other. Mine require some space distance,and certain needs.So if you dont fall in that category or boat jump off ,move out my way..Im not stopping for no one or will let anything get in my path. I say this with a pure heart  and respect for anybody reading. lets cut the b.s. (you know who you are)..if you feel bad or guilty"Ding Ding" ,you must of done something wrong and know that I am right at this point.Take it like it is or..dont bother knowing me.
Thanks, Peace n Love
 xoxo
Bella

Stuck in Circles.

Sometimes late at night like these.. I question..faith,love and my mind goes in Circles! We all have opinions we share them ..use them, cover them up silently so we cant hurt anothers feelings. I now dont feel for others like I use to. Im not cold..because I dont know what thats like,..but Im curious. Its Ironic, how men treat women and women treat their men. Just plain ol bullshit over and over. Strong women get hurt anyway,weak women are hurt but dont admit or face the facts.You see all these wanna be hot shots with nothing, dogging or using theyre girlfriends. Women being golddigging whores because they have nothing else to offer or self respect. It annoys me ,upsets me,disgusts me to see this! Especially to gals and guys I do know. Snakes. Snakes trying to be buddies with you,to gather info for other snakes. Men using you only for sex,or popularity. Women, to gain attention or connnections. Sick!! This often happens to me too. I cant trust many, but care for alot. So Im stuck. Stuck in the middle.Fighting for faith in them and myself..hoping for love not hate. Whats the point. It goes in circles.. right?. Doesnt filter out. Noone can careless. Ive been optimistic for centuries now, yet I see no change in these same subjects. I pray for peace,and love of course..I receive litte of it...but I am not throwing the white flag.Im simply saying whats on my mind...Anxiety can kick in the current moment. The only good thing is the writting from experiences, I get from all of it. Thats the positive side of the coin. Ive already reached my kind limit. Humble me,always giving into the heart not the brain..f the heart think the brain.. be it! It helps you know. When you care less, and ignore more. My mind is racing. Things have been swell aside of certain little issues and a few individuals. Anything can be resolved or answered. Pondering, lurking, observing I do best. Funny, cause its not what you know or had in mind but what you feeel and see. Seek answers, patience.. and  They shall appear right in front of you. Just a thought..my random bubbles that circle. Everything is a cycle and circles around..lets just hope the bad doesnt repeat over and over to you in circles like it can and has had me stuck. Lets Pray  
xoxo Bella

Cause I Dont give Ahh :)

Hey Boys and Gals!!

Its been forever sinced I blogged. I made time tonite because I usually make time for everyone else but myself really! Well,thats changed. Sooo Much has happened in the past 6 to 8 months.  I made two really neat house music videos  in San Fransisco and Sacramento,  California with the talented Dj/Producers called Verdugo brothers one jam is"Killa Kind" which was explosive on Youtube..insane views, the other is "Your Kiss" but ..we mutually took a break from that side project to pursue other goals for awhile! So just be on the lookout. I recently made a old vision come back to life,by gathering local musicians and started a band which I call "The Saints". Since 2004 it  was when I originally came up with that name and Idea. I really enjoy songwritting..to the point where I closed myself off from the club scene to focus and concentrate on what I love and Im good at. I havent forgotten the real passion here.. the desire to be a true artist and entertainer,having a band of rock & roll music and possibly touring or just plain ol performing again. I missed it so. Anyhow, Im delighted to have such a great group! I mean we had only practiced 3 weeks and performed four complete original songs together wowee! :) With a little help from myself, to arrange compose write and sing the melody worked out in no time.I know that I am not the best vocalist out there but I try,I pull it off and love it! Persistance kept me in line to make this happen. Alone I did. All the songs are based on ol experiences and relateable situations to all. I just really hope it works out in the long run. Its my dream and I havent given up. I may be a petite 28 year old adult..but that doesnt make me weak ,I am actually very strong mentally and through experience so to say. Age matters. I love being close to thirty now. Gosh!!! lol! Okay, Im not that old yet haha..but it makes me realize how far Ive come. Ive been a singer performer  professionally since 12 years old..giging singing kareoke, solo acts,talent groups,traveling opening acts,solo artists,groups,cover bands,acoustic act  & now a real Original rock band!  Amazing! Oh yes, and I havent taken a break.Most people do. Not once have I paused on singing. Meaning I literally been singing since the age of three and Im 28. Do the math.Question is whats next? Will see where this newest exciting humble journey takes me. Ive suffered alot, broken down frowned,felt alone any emotion you can gather Ive felt silently sometimes noticeable but its all worth it to me in the end. So long story short..I can careless what others feel think, say, spit, swallow their pride "be-Cause I dont give ahh" like a lyric line to a my song...all that matters is me music and my life!!  Its all positive vibes, from here on out..redeemed Ive become.I truly hope all goes well for myself the guys and everyone who supports me..the Real friends and fans I know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I dont forget. God bless ,See you soon to a stage near you or further!! :)

Much love,
Bella  xoxo

Mother Goose'...

Hay Ya'll! 
So its been awhile I know. I ve been hella busy with work,music and other things that matter in life. Hope everyone is doing well reading this. A couple weeks ago, 3 to be exact..My dog was acting funny, fatter,hungry for the most part..turns out..she was pregnant! Yes! my innocent lil virgin cocker spaniel got knocked up by my other male dogs big balls lol! okay wanted to add humor. this will be short! I really naturally,became close, these newborn baby pups. All of a sudden , I felt like Mother goose!!! I was and am very protective with them and their surroundings. I get after the mother when shes not breast feeding all the time, even though, im sure she needs a break. LOL! Shes a great mom to be quite frank,but I guess since I am the grandma ..I just wanna be sure their well taken care of in any way.I had a life changing experience watching them being born. It was disgusting yet beautiful to witness life being created and out before my eyes. I, then knew, if my patient loving comfort spaniel can get thru this painful experience?...I can too be a mom!! I always dreamt of being a young hip loving mother.Its sad to say, I yearn for my own lil family since Im the only child,28 and all. I want a average of 2..or whatever god gives me. Im lucky enough.I just hope..as times goes by I can too be a mother one day.. I love youth,kids, Innocence..and the warmth children have ..and offer us loved ones.So long story short..god willing, I hope and pray I can be a lucky mother like my own dog sarah..and be the best I can be..but for now, I'll play mother goose & attend when needed.I do take good care of them,go all out in the wee hours like a real human infant would.. need assistance.To those whom have children, I now understand..the meaning and unconditional love you naturally,humanly ,instinctly..feel.God bless.Love future mother goose :) xoxo bella

This Bottle Is Full ..And Needs To be Spilled Over..

Ahh Here we go again:
I cant help myself...but wonder why do people insist on hurting one another? Seriously we are all alike. In this case, Im mentioning friendships,Mutual Aquantinces. Im a lover not a fighter.I may have become more outspoken throughout the past years ,instead of generalizing which I always did..cause I did not wanna hurt anyones feelings.Well lol! That has completely changed haha! I dont care what people think or say about me anymore.At All! Recently some mutual aquantice,took my ex to my work place and flirted with him all nite.In my book thats girl code to not be partying flirting with your gal pals ex flame. Geezass I mean,cant you get your own men?? I figured maybe this person is in a insecure  place.That was my last draw to women like that.Im super old school,at least if your my friend I would not take that road or approach.Weeks later,this certain individual, had already played the innocent game(gemini) had her bestie write me...well...she screwed over her "Bestie"   as well!! Of many years!! Can you believe this? Insane..women are vicious lol! Thats why I have so many guy friends,and my bf approves,,Im lucky! Aye no, I had given this wicked soul a chance after she screwed over my current bestie!I like to see the good in people ,then the bad.. but I never trust right away ...hell no! I ve had ..even until this day many encounters of whorebag fake friends!! Believe! If,example we dont hangout its for two reasons....and two reasons only(ladies I dont trust you or we really have nothing in common. Thats the way I see things. Its for the best.I rather not waste each others time..so lets cut the crap! You know what I mean? Im sure any guy or girl can relate once to this matter.Im trying realll hard to stay positive on this blog..cause this site is meant for relieve on inner thoughts or curiousities...but when this subject came upon, I just had to let it out,,,before the poison sinks in my ol broken soul.This bottle had been full..and had to be spilled over lol! Women. Cant live with them, cant live without em.I sound like a boy...A tomboy..I am.. but I am a girly girl too! Much love to all .Peace ciao:)
xoxo bella

Everything Zen...

Well it is true. As I go on with everyday hustlin..it actually pays off in mysterious ways.Not too long ago I tried out for American Idol..what a experience) ..and even though I didnt make the cut...there are other opportunities and doors to be open.Ryan Seacrest came up to us and  we met the cool cat! He was very humble (which I love most about people in general)... Cant stand stand offish or conceited people out there who love to brag, anyhow,I realized that its not about If you make it to be famous or who you met..and how much you have done with your current life..but about if you love what you do and how you are you everyday in your life also..letting that TRUE inner light within standout of you too! Its amazing how people that are close to you or dont even know you..see that light!Then you should be at peace or ease with yourself. I recently doubted myself in music and was getting bored..but thats not my case. I branched out to new things and opportunitys that were given to me to see what others view of me for a minute . I see other people with similarities as mine, and see them stall. Stay still.Brag.Compete..ignore whats really important here etc. Im like ok, get over your immaturity and find yourself because we all know what this is really about. In search of myself still at least I admit that ..until the day I do..thats another story lol! I have not been this content with myself and where I'm at in so many years. I got so many things going on at once its insane.I battled alot of inner demons and negative people for so long in my past..I struggled to get out of the darkness that led me on into the nothing it was..and surroundings.So All in all Im doing ok :)..Hope whoever is reading this is as well. My hardwork in other scenarios is def paying off. I met my musical icon gavin rossdale recently one of many not bragging just explaning  ..which was rad and I missed out on so many concerts Im treating myself to this.I got in free,met him for free! Funny huh? Your hardwork will pay off too ..other rewards will be sent out from above.I got involved with promo deals..and was broadcasted on live television internationally throughout the world on telefutura. For golden boy productions which is Oscar de la hoyas deal! I mean..Im not the hottest richest or most popular gal out there in the world.No way! Or better than you reading! Hell to the no!!!Im just like You! Not ordinary but driven I guess! I want keep living and have many more incredible adventures....so ask yourself? Do you know who you are truly? Are you a mask of something we cannot see? Whats your color? Are you happy with yourself and where your at in life? Those questions raise for answers..which makes you answer yourself? Get me? Im Happy...my hardwork is finalllyyyy paying off . I got alot of work to do..So stay tuned!!!In the long search of the complete side of me..until then..Everything Zen! ;) Much love to all Peace.Ciao! xoxo Bella