Mother Goose'...

Hay Ya'll! 
So its been awhile I know. I ve been hella busy with work,music and other things that matter in life. Hope everyone is doing well reading this. A couple weeks ago, 3 to be exact..My dog was acting funny, fatter,hungry for the most part..turns out..she was pregnant! Yes! my innocent lil virgin cocker spaniel got knocked up by my other male dogs big balls lol! okay wanted to add humor. this will be short! I really naturally,became close, these newborn baby pups. All of a sudden , I felt like Mother goose!!! I was and am very protective with them and their surroundings. I get after the mother when shes not breast feeding all the time, even though, im sure she needs a break. LOL! Shes a great mom to be quite frank,but I guess since I am the grandma ..I just wanna be sure their well taken care of in any way.I had a life changing experience watching them being born. It was disgusting yet beautiful to witness life being created and out before my eyes. I, then knew, if my patient loving comfort spaniel can get thru this painful experience?...I can too be a mom!! I always dreamt of being a young hip loving mother.Its sad to say, I yearn for my own lil family since Im the only child,28 and all. I want a average of 2..or whatever god gives me. Im lucky enough.I just hope..as times goes by I can too be a mother one day.. I love youth,kids, Innocence..and the warmth children have ..and offer us loved ones.So long story short..god willing, I hope and pray I can be a lucky mother like my own dog sarah..and be the best I can be..but for now, I'll play mother goose & attend when needed.I do take good care of them,go all out in the wee hours like a real human infant would.. need assistance.To those whom have children, I now understand..the meaning and unconditional love you naturally,humanly ,instinctly..feel.God bless.Love future mother goose :) xoxo bella

This Bottle Is Full ..And Needs To be Spilled Over..

Ahh Here we go again:
I cant help myself...but wonder why do people insist on hurting one another? Seriously we are all alike. In this case, Im mentioning friendships,Mutual Aquantinces. Im a lover not a fighter.I may have become more outspoken throughout the past years ,instead of generalizing which I always did..cause I did not wanna hurt anyones feelings.Well lol! That has completely changed haha! I dont care what people think or say about me anymore.At All! Recently some mutual aquantice,took my ex to my work place and flirted with him all nite.In my book thats girl code to not be partying flirting with your gal pals ex flame. Geezass I mean,cant you get your own men?? I figured maybe this person is in a insecure  place.That was my last draw to women like that.Im super old school,at least if your my friend I would not take that road or approach.Weeks later,this certain individual, had already played the innocent game(gemini) had her bestie write me...well...she screwed over her "Bestie"   as well!! Of many years!! Can you believe this? Insane..women are vicious lol! Thats why I have so many guy friends,and my bf approves,,Im lucky! Aye no, I had given this wicked soul a chance after she screwed over my current bestie!I like to see the good in people ,then the bad.. but I never trust right away ...hell no! I ve had ..even until this day many encounters of whorebag fake friends!! Believe! If,example we dont hangout its for two reasons....and two reasons only(ladies I dont trust you or we really have nothing in common. Thats the way I see things. Its for the best.I rather not waste each others time..so lets cut the crap! You know what I mean? Im sure any guy or girl can relate once to this matter.Im trying realll hard to stay positive on this blog..cause this site is meant for relieve on inner thoughts or curiousities...but when this subject came upon, I just had to let it out,,,before the poison sinks in my ol broken soul.This bottle had been full..and had to be spilled over lol! Women. Cant live with them, cant live without em.I sound like a boy...A tomboy..I am.. but I am a girly girl too! Much love to all .Peace ciao:)
xoxo bella

Everything Zen...

Well it is true. As I go on with everyday hustlin..it actually pays off in mysterious ways.Not too long ago I tried out for American Idol..what a experience) ..and even though I didnt make the cut...there are other opportunities and doors to be open.Ryan Seacrest came up to us and  we met the cool cat! He was very humble (which I love most about people in general)... Cant stand stand offish or conceited people out there who love to brag, anyhow,I realized that its not about If you make it to be famous or who you met..and how much you have done with your current life..but about if you love what you do and how you are you everyday in your life also..letting that TRUE inner light within standout of you too! Its amazing how people that are close to you or dont even know you..see that light!Then you should be at peace or ease with yourself. I recently doubted myself in music and was getting bored..but thats not my case. I branched out to new things and opportunitys that were given to me to see what others view of me for a minute . I see other people with similarities as mine, and see them stall. Stay still.Brag.Compete..ignore whats really important here etc. Im like ok, get over your immaturity and find yourself because we all know what this is really about. In search of myself still at least I admit that ..until the day I do..thats another story lol! I have not been this content with myself and where I'm at in so many years. I got so many things going on at once its insane.I battled alot of inner demons and negative people for so long in my past..I struggled to get out of the darkness that led me on into the nothing it was..and surroundings.So All in all Im doing ok :)..Hope whoever is reading this is as well. My hardwork in other scenarios is def paying off. I met my musical icon gavin rossdale recently one of many not bragging just explaning  ..which was rad and I missed out on so many concerts Im treating myself to this.I got in free,met him for free! Funny huh? Your hardwork will pay off too ..other rewards will be sent out from above.I got involved with promo deals..and was broadcasted on live television internationally throughout the world on telefutura. For golden boy productions which is Oscar de la hoyas deal! I mean..Im not the hottest richest or most popular gal out there in the world.No way! Or better than you reading! Hell to the no!!!Im just like You! Not ordinary but driven I guess! I want keep living and have many more incredible adventures....so ask yourself? Do you know who you are truly? Are you a mask of something we cannot see? Whats your color? Are you happy with yourself and where your at in life? Those questions raise for answers..which makes you answer yourself? Get me? Im Happy...my hardwork is finalllyyyy paying off . I got alot of work to do..So stay tuned!!!In the long search of the complete side of me..until then..Everything Zen! ;) Much love to all Peace.Ciao! xoxo Bella

Positive Energy Or Soul Sister,Rogue???

Sord of a long blog:

..So Lately it's been happening again. I feel as though Im doing more Postive things, because of my POSITIVE energy  and with that,I am accomplishing alot to due it.I don't know if any of you reading right now.. know about the Laws Of Attraction. There is a book based on it,which is very Interesting! It projects that if you feel, think or want positivity in your life..naturally the world will draw that towards your path or Journey. Same as Negative energy as well. Its like your leading ..to have a following ..of  a Energetic form of support  or  Negative Obstacles. Weird right?? Anyhow, as a scale I see both sides.Well all my life Ive had occurances  even till this day..where lights flicker,system shutdowns,cell phones off signal,electricity shocks on the car doors, happen around me in a new place.. the list goes on. I record my own music often with different artists like me.. in studios and the guys ,never fails)say to me..this never happens!! I swear  chels ..you walk in and the brand new program goes off , freezes or whatever.Always in the studio or a new place, I feel like Im effin ROGUE from Xmen or something?? Haha! Is it possible we contain alot of energy that may be mistaken as paranormal?? Is it paranormal? I dont know. Could it be..we humans just obsorb lots of positive & negative Ions..which is like magnetic like in its field.Now Im talking physics...a little complicated much no? Reason to blog it out lol! I continue to try and process this...till 2 days go.I went to a random store out of the blue..just because I needed some retail therapy and I get so bored with the same ol same ol places. I was in a plaza and I walked into Bells... saw some cute shoes I wanted and as..I approached the busy ol lady and young guy for help...FliCk!!The whole lights in the damn store flickered off and on..Then resumed on again.Like a sign!! The lady was startled,she squated as we were being attacked by lights or something and the cool guy too also saying..AYE! LOL! Im use to it but I did pause.I was like OMG..not again. No worries its me..its my energy haha! & they looked at me with a scared face ,like what a freaking weirdo..thats never happened here.What would you think? You cant say that You would not question this so called routine of energetic forces right? Its starting to annoy me.I ve traveled far for certain money making projects and this shit happens all the time. Why me.O why? I have no clue.Last night after my gig..a male medium friend approached me.Had not seen him in forever.He has this inner gift to seek above and beyond the human eyes mind and ears so to speak.So right away,by the way crazy timing I told him..Dude! Something is with me..Something is following me and messing things up or signal or something.He held my hand , grasped my energy flow though me,looked at my palm and said...Wow! This is a good one. No need to worry bella,btw Im called bella at my work places.. thats another subject in another blog)..You have a Soul Sister! A what? A SOUL SISTER! Im like I dont have sisters I am the only child.He said..no she was meant to be born with you but instead shes with you through a spiritual energy.He believes we can and are reincarnated.I m open to the thought, I love God and believe in god so i know there is Heaven and hell. Well..this is different. Its a female following ..kind of like a guardian angel.She wants you to know she is with you still and loves you and is protecting you. You are loved and your strong with her. It made a bit of sense.I do feel like uncontrollable and Intense while performing or being on the stage. When I record I pour my heart & soul out that maybe she channels through my body & mind with the positive energy force.Closed minded makes her sad and alone. She is (now coming from my medium friend,)is wanting to get my attention.It seems as though we all have a brother or soul sister.Do you believe in that or the unknown? Ok for those religious..guardian angels.There so you wont think Im going against the lord because Im not.I m just curious like many to know why this is a on going cycle...it even effects my workplaces and living.e.t.c.What to do?! He said accept her ,talk to her .Pray she is your partner in crime with the energy and music. Sidekick to help you kickass in what you love to do. I laughed but thought how interesting. I should have not questioned it. I say my goodbyes and thanked him for the spontenous visit..crazy timing ,advice he gave me.Made me a spiritualist as of last nite.I went to the ladies room at the bar and noone was in there but me. I admit I was a lil spooked ,got up washed up and then FLUSH from afar another toilet goes off! YIKes I ran out of there like a bat from hell!  Haha.I was shakened up a bit but I forgot it wasn't paranormal.Its my Guardian Angel..she's probably happy that I figured her out again.Shes been with me supposeably through many moons ago lol! If this is true,I will believe it and hopefully things continue to be good or get better as time goes by!So I know I got a great father..GOD himself and Mother Mary Jesus..its pretty lovely to have  a soul sister too!! The unconditional family I cannot see yet but feel In me and  are all around me.This blog is spiritual and beyond.Hope I didnt cause a stir of questions..which can cause anxiety lol! Just had to let it out and share for you readers out there.Maybe you have a similiar spiritual story you wanna share with me.. that can be Inspiring to move foward with happiness and Postives vibes as well.Feel free to let me know or advise I dont mind...because afterall Life or in this life Im living in ..now..thats what I assume life is  about. Peace.&.Much LOVE TO ALL :) ciao,
Xoxo Bella

Fazes & Changes...

I wrote a song a few months ago for a original Jazz feel, based on how my life has changed so much for the better and how relationships fade. Ive had it rough ,like no other in such a way...I was damaged inside..but luckily.. Ive been off that Love hate Road for awhile now. Isn't weird how lovers or friends are suppose to meet? I mean, I lost contact with someone recently then years later poof shes back! Which is great..because some friendships last and some are just for the meantime..for other life lessons of life experiences etc.I was not always a bad person with a bad attitude or bad relationship. I was just going through..a "Faze". A ridiculous one ..but it was too late to get out once your in for the ride at the time. Ive lost best friends..and regained friendships back!! Life is so funny..those curve balls are fast too. lol!I know now, Im still in my prime and I can conquer anything I want or anything I desire in all categories.As any of Ya'll reading this. This by the way, is the complete lighter , opposite side of me haha! Back to the damn libra thing..but I cant help myself.This is who I am.I am both.I love everything and I like to experience all or new changes.Im not trying to fit in. Im just learning new things ..going thru new changes in my present life! Then once I get Bored I pick up either new materials, Music Interest,Hobbies,friends..but with that its hard! It sucks to know that some of my once so called besties from childhood and on..dont have anything in common with me other than old memories?? Am I a bad friend? For not wanting to always hang with them or contact..I mean seriously, we are not in grade or high school anymore.I love certain things a certain way..and if they cant understand or realized then we were just meant to be friends for faze, again life lessons etc. I dont know..I had my reunion recently and a really good friend of mine back then and still.. was not the same friend I  hungout,partied with  in high school.Actually it goes for many.I love church and all but I dont preach about it every minute..and its like we were born into sin you know? I love to drink..I cutt down actually..she insisted she doesn't or wine only. I was bummed. Because these peeps are great people and I hate to come in and corrupt their believes or cycle for living per say.Im not a Mean  person cause I have a big heart..like my family..But Ive Become so confrontational its too much sometimes.Like I said I can be simple, I can be chill, I can be anything really..I can like things you like but it may not faze me. Things I use to love are not fazing me anymore.People I loved to be around dont faze me neither.Im typing away, but I just wanna let it out...shout it loud lol jk! Had to switch the serious mood to silly. SEE! Haha! Anyhow, If you guys think Im an idiot please share your thoughts..Relate, Or whatever you desire to post..I'm just going with the program ..my program and Im getting old so.. your either in or not thats kind of the way I see it now..Fazes & Changes..O well Thats My Life for Ya!!Always.... everyday..till then ciao ciao! PEACE TO ALL!! :) much love
xoxo
Bella

TWO SIDES OF MY SCALES ..

As you already know,through my bio..I am a Entertainer. Many people reconized me through my hometown streets as the performer or girl rocker,singer.e.t.c. I get flattered in a postive way ,because even though im not famous..I always wanted to be heard or known in such a way. It was my dream you know?? But as time goes by ..Im not the same like before .what I mean is..Ive changed and yet the passion is slowing fading out and im scared ill never love the stage again. I was born on a stage.My life is a stage.Music has always been in my family and blood. I know i have to people please and I created this alter ego named "Bella". Now I know what your thinking Oh ..Twilight right? Nope..This was way back when, years in advanced when I made her UP! Bella Is latin for beautiful. We all have insecurities and you cant say your not insecure cause thats a bunch of crap.Your human unless your inhuman lol! I wouldnt believe ya for a sec!Anyway my point is the hardships i experienced made me feel ugly inside,bitter. I noticed the change in me and wanted to get out of the blackhole i was succumbed to. I had to breakthrough it or climb out somehow.Finally after the discovery of suffering depression, I realized things can be ok.Life is beautiful.I remember it vaguely,darkened thoughts that I wanted to dissapear and thats when Bella was born. The lite came through. So it was and has been. This character I pull off is too much,haha I cant keep up with her lol!! Not kidding. Reliving the life I leaded before but with a twist. Kinda like ..I got to change shit around without going back in time or timewarp and making it happen now..in the present..you get me? Pretty Intriguing huh? Yes! I too get lost with it..but now that you know life isnt always peachy in the dark or fastlane..with music..it saved me.Made me. I got to be good on stage and sometimes, hate to say, I Fake a smile once in awhile.You have to. Why would you wanna show your pain or frustration to others? Its happened to me many times in my past where I did it all the time and didnt know..and my close gal pals were annoyed with it, even my exes. Bella wasnt there yet.Time flew and im aging inside too..as soon as I left this harsh enviroment of pain,lust and all thats sad..I discovered who bella is...Not chelsea..Chelsea went through a different slate. Im not stating that im bipolar or schizopr. or split personality. Im speaking as one person.Friends call me by bella. Just so you know. I love this side of me. I love her!! Its the person I always wanted to be.I just had to find her within..cause it is who I am and whom Ive become. I may be babbling on about my thoughts but thats why im in need to blog. Let out the crazyness..so the positiveness can continue to resume in my mind when it does. Bella is beautiful..just a crazy whirlwind of a mess. Such a beauty ,the pain is disquised. Dont judge a book by its cover,they say. Its true. Dont judge me for what I am,what you knew then,or some of you that dont know me..Iam not the same..and you dont know squat. People change.My skin has thickened. I feel sorry for those who do me wrong and wish me harm. Stir frenzy and false accusations. The karma will settle in them and do her routine,as I lay back and watch. I gotta alot in my head ,even I cant figure me out at sometimes..Do any of ya feel me? Have the same thoughts about yourself..and where you are in the moment?? I fuckin do..and it sucks. I m not gonna celebrate it either haha! Who does? No pity here. These are just  thoughts.There are two sides of me...One is good yet crazy,the other is talented and bitchy ,Driven and fearless! Libra here..I guess it all just makes sense...there are Two Sides of A Scale..and thats me..whether you like it or not. Ive Excepted this..and its forever. As for the passion..Maybe thats bella being a bitch lol jk..till next time..Deep thoughts Strenghten the mind.Peace To All! xo