And so it is..

And so it is
..just like I thought it would be..I finally saw my musical influence " Brandon boyd of Incubus" along with linkin park this week it was aaaaahhh amazing !! :)) What a rush,although it wasnt long enough it was great anyway..not to mention treated like a queen) in the presence of another for several days. Gosh, what the hell have I been doing here all along?!  Lol! Ive missed out on so much and more!! Its funny when you have something so neat and real in front of ya then you ignore and stray away. I dunno its late night, have alot on my mind,new goals in process with my band. Now new thoughts, of people..perspectives.. whos real whos not? Who I want around more and who I want to part from. When I part its cause Im simply scared..when I remain close, I feel safe & comfty with the person female or male. It takes very little  mistakes for me to rid a friend or lover..and it takes a lot for me to stick around. Im extremely complicated and picky. I admit it. I giged late tonite,so beat from my adventurous weekend at the beach and trip to H-town! Too fun,exciting great really happy. It made me think of where I want to be..right now. I came back home,thinkin bigger as far as leaving the valley. Watching  musical influences rock do what they love, being in a big city,the life.. the little stress I felt because of  the generousity and gratitude that was given to me.I was  finally taken care of for once. It felt good to know good people are out there. They exist. Aside of the random thoughts and vibes im feeling.. I am content.There's so much more out there. So much to be done,so many other people to meet ,greet bond, care for and appreciate. Big show manana. Over the late night blogging lol! And so it is...just like I said,..it should be..Nighty!! Peace n Love :)
Xoxo
Bella

Take it ,like it is!

I have to get this out of my chest! I am single now, determined, and focusing on music like I have been. I cannot stand superficial friends and guys that surround me. Like I owe them something more,when I receive less? Wow, Relationships, I aint  looking.I usually dont. I got a great band,good handset of pals,health ,family thats all I need and want ,and a future I want to make happen sooner than later. If people want to be in my life or cycle then,they need a good head on their shoulders big heart,down to earth...considerate and confident.! Both women and men. I dont need shady snake whores surrounding my presence or player little boys who ruin my creativity and both takes a toll on my energy and so forth. I can only move foward and not  step back. The past is a past for a legitiment reason both relationships,partnerships and even some friends.

I do not care nor wanna know any drama, I dont have time. I dont wanna be in the middle of nothing cause I am who I am and do what I desire. I have goals like any other. Mine require some space distance,and certain needs.So if you dont fall in that category or boat jump off ,move out my way..Im not stopping for no one or will let anything get in my path. I say this with a pure heart  and respect for anybody reading. lets cut the b.s. (you know who you are)..if you feel bad or guilty"Ding Ding" ,you must of done something wrong and know that I am right at this point.Take it like it is or..dont bother knowing me.
Thanks, Peace n Love
 xoxo
Bella

Stuck in Circles.

Sometimes late at night like these.. I question..faith,love and my mind goes in Circles! We all have opinions we share them ..use them, cover them up silently so we cant hurt anothers feelings. I now dont feel for others like I use to. Im not cold..because I dont know what thats like,..but Im curious. Its Ironic, how men treat women and women treat their men. Just plain ol bullshit over and over. Strong women get hurt anyway,weak women are hurt but dont admit or face the facts.You see all these wanna be hot shots with nothing, dogging or using theyre girlfriends. Women being golddigging whores because they have nothing else to offer or self respect. It annoys me ,upsets me,disgusts me to see this! Especially to gals and guys I do know. Snakes. Snakes trying to be buddies with you,to gather info for other snakes. Men using you only for sex,or popularity. Women, to gain attention or connnections. Sick!! This often happens to me too. I cant trust many, but care for alot. So Im stuck. Stuck in the middle.Fighting for faith in them and myself..hoping for love not hate. Whats the point. It goes in circles.. right?. Doesnt filter out. Noone can careless. Ive been optimistic for centuries now, yet I see no change in these same subjects. I pray for peace,and love of course..I receive litte of it...but I am not throwing the white flag.Im simply saying whats on my mind...Anxiety can kick in the current moment. The only good thing is the writting from experiences, I get from all of it. Thats the positive side of the coin. Ive already reached my kind limit. Humble me,always giving into the heart not the brain..f the heart think the brain.. be it! It helps you know. When you care less, and ignore more. My mind is racing. Things have been swell aside of certain little issues and a few individuals. Anything can be resolved or answered. Pondering, lurking, observing I do best. Funny, cause its not what you know or had in mind but what you feeel and see. Seek answers, patience.. and  They shall appear right in front of you. Just a thought..my random bubbles that circle. Everything is a cycle and circles around..lets just hope the bad doesnt repeat over and over to you in circles like it can and has had me stuck. Lets Pray  
xoxo Bella