The Saints live at walrus! Behind"Unwanted Affair! ;)

As you all know Im a full time singer/entertainer/artist! Who makes a living through music and voice. Ive been away on a Island... reinventing myself silently nd boy do I have a lot of work to do. Im not getting any younger..but let me fill you in with this ol project im bringing back to life. Saints was created the summer of 2011. I auditioned a group of fellas and they all rocked in their own unique ways.We appeared in local rock magazine such as Mag-X, played various rock shows at rock n roll venues like Simon sez and The flying walrus. This was a great time. I needed to let out an ol past that keept haunting me i memories. I igured best way to let it die put the past away was to sing it out. Original music. like the saying goes..Rock N roll saved me, It worked,was great  metgreat people and now Ive moved on to yet another genre and solo project. Everyone who participated in this awesome band The saints is doing great on their own! This song featured we had only praciced a couple of tmes before creating it mind you and doing a show after the band formed. So fast yet it says alot about the band!Talented!!! one of themany songs we created its called"Unwanted Affair" is about a relationship not formed yet but your infatuation with bad boys. ladies can relate a charmer player snarky egotistical  handsome guy who just knows how to steal womens hearts and break them at the same time...having others on the side while your stuck loving everything confusing it with lust..shes grown tired of his ways and finally sees him for what he is and its becme a unwanted affair. "He's a rockstar in my eyes..but it is no suprise so i seer clear before i get hypnotized again....an we all make mistakes..seems i repeat them always..as i sit here crying liner down my face again again again.." First verse line.Shes not new to this game and attraction to the bad boy! Enjoy the jam off to the next blog! Xoxo

My Captive Heart..

Captive heart -Bella 
 
I sing I dance Ive acted on  my own stage of life. I stay stagant and hope to move out of place. Maybe, I wasn't meant to shine as bright as the stars in the sky, like all the other mentors of mine do through out my slides in music. Ive helped others seek their goals and dreams and dim my light..for a change. I yearn the desire and passion to sing my soul out but she hides somewhere unknown. The love I always needed is lost forever or at least ..with my eyes I cant see it quite clear. Maybe Im blind in love ...therefore I could never be happy or complete in my fairytale. I have had many bumps in the road  as far as survival and dilemmas ..some that often repeat a cycle  and burn my strong hurt to the ground little by little. Friends come and go..because my lifestyle can be dark and fast and lonely but adventurous.."The gypsy way" I call it. If i wasn't here in the valley home land..or island bungalow ..I'd still leave ,like I have done before.Im not use to being grounded so long in everything .Im not use to a stable nothing but the music which haunts me. I felt trapt. Trapt in this world of night life..of music. I feel cursed every once in awhile. Im not married.Never have been. I have no kids. I dont have a regular normal job or routine. I do what I know and done it all basically. Ive come far to it many times and chose the wrong paths. Im happy with the gift I consume. Im unhappy in areas I cannot reach. I let myself drown in sorrow alone with my own inner demons no one but me can fight. I want to see light. I need more God in my life too. Im not writting for a pity party .Im writting to be normal and let out this emotions that make me human. Im not a robot. People treat me like one sometimes. I just wanted  peace from my chaos.Beauty and talent means nothing when your inner world in your mind is cold and dark and lonely and lost! I cry. I have anxiety. I have other dreams. I dont know what else to say other than Ive been held captive...in my mind in the music and now..at 30 in my heart. She wants to wake from her burdens. Oh help me god..I need light.This is off the record and in my thoughts. Captive heart bella is still imprisoned ..when will she be free again?!

Sincerly,
Chelsea Xo

"Just Wait...."

"And we we're broke.. and didnt know":


Hay  my friends! Its been awhile since I last blogged. Its important, that  I let some of my coworkers, networkers  & even close friends know whats going on in my world.This was my quick solution to that situation. I ve been crazy busy!! with new projects & tasks its hard to get around to every single friend or acquaintance. So here It goes...


 I have a band called "The Saints "as some of you might know of or not, which  took a short break to pursue other things and such to family matters E.t.c We will return with a new demo and show by the end of this month, so check that out! Like our page to be up to date.My fellow Producers /Dj/ networking partners "Verdugo Brothers" out of california got signed to a major agency!  Amen! Super stoked for them!!  & whats to come. We still have more original dance tracks and of course music vids to be out.. not long from now. So add them, like em,check out their twitters/sites as mine to be aware when it  does happen very soon! I also redcently just started a booking company thats legit called "Bellasea Productions"  I hustle work for other local artists whom may struggle to keep or find jobs. I also do throw full band variety shows at local venues uptown and downtown who rarely have a chance to jam!I want to help others gain exposure or experience and give them work.The opportunities were never given ..but earned for me. I wish I had someone to basically offer,what Im already in process of  doing for them.. in  the valley.Plus, the best part is  not only do I, love being around Music, that has always been apart of my blood and lifestyle..its when my friends whom are so talented share the same passion in front of my eyes!.. Thats why I started all this I relate & connect. Gosh! Like not even work but it is what it is..and I enjoy what I do. who wouldnt if it was your  passion right?


Anyhow, I was asked  to join forces as a writer for a New upcoming music magazine called"RGV MUSICIANS UNITED". It all deals and relates to music in the RGV! Ive already posted some stories on local artists and female supporters at shows as well. Its different & fun! why not ? Maybe I'll find another passion..who knows?! Although it requires alot of time,, I love it already and I got a great team. All who are involved happen to be Musicians themselves,,hence, musicians united. Kinda like the work im already doing with  the local artists I expose, SO pleased! Really excited  for this new venture. It should be out next month as well.  I still sing on and off but Im finally gonna take a REAl break in  a week. Im managing mostly and booking shows.Sometimes often bombarded with double gigs in a day. Challenging but fun. I love to keep  busy as always. Whats new am I right? I still will be involved.My life is fast   yet spontenous. I am now"behind the curtains" so to speak. If any of you reading this needs help,knows someone whos musically inclined..I can help you/them.Contact me here or other site. I have done this for too damn long..and know everything,, its not easy.Lets just be real for a minute. Not everyone can just do it or find it.It takes alot.With that said, Im here to open a door or save the day!

So all this is time consuming . I hardly rest. My days and nights are full. Speaking of, I have new beau! Yay! Bella found her vampy & is Taken.  Lol! D*whom Im linked to, adore being around... do everything with and feel complete by. Im finallyyyy Happy!  :)  I get all amorous  & shit ! (Myspave term) haha!I dont mean to be chessy or brag but this lifestyle and work is hard. Not everyone can keep up  with me or it or at least this long. Ive made many sacrifices and continue to. Ive suffered alone and faced reality. It bites lol! So please respect my space and time.Its been at least seven years since I last addressed this subject .Pretty redonkulous dont cha think? Understand im not blowing noone off..Im just making some me time with my bf/love and a break from entertainment. Entertainers such as I ,also need to rest and live a little you know. Be entertained too haha! So all is good with me. Hope my lovely friends and fans or whoever is reading.. are doing amazing! I'm content & lucky to have a supportive family,friends & Boyfriend who.. all  I love so much!! I'll be back in  the scene eventually..so stay tuned.More projects  &music shows to be brought to you soon! & then some.
For your entertainment."Just..Wait,,,,,and See
" ;)
Much love & blessings! Rock on
<3
xoxo C.BELLA

And so it is..

And so it is
..just like I thought it would be..I finally saw my musical influence " Brandon boyd of Incubus" along with linkin park this week it was aaaaahhh amazing !! :)) What a rush,although it wasnt long enough it was great anyway..not to mention treated like a queen) in the presence of another for several days. Gosh, what the hell have I been doing here all along?!  Lol! Ive missed out on so much and more!! Its funny when you have something so neat and real in front of ya then you ignore and stray away. I dunno its late night, have alot on my mind,new goals in process with my band. Now new thoughts, of people..perspectives.. whos real whos not? Who I want around more and who I want to part from. When I part its cause Im simply scared..when I remain close, I feel safe & comfty with the person female or male. It takes very little  mistakes for me to rid a friend or lover..and it takes a lot for me to stick around. Im extremely complicated and picky. I admit it. I giged late tonite,so beat from my adventurous weekend at the beach and trip to H-town! Too fun,exciting great really happy. It made me think of where I want to be..right now. I came back home,thinkin bigger as far as leaving the valley. Watching  musical influences rock do what they love, being in a big city,the life.. the little stress I felt because of  the generousity and gratitude that was given to me.I was  finally taken care of for once. It felt good to know good people are out there. They exist. Aside of the random thoughts and vibes im feeling.. I am content.There's so much more out there. So much to be done,so many other people to meet ,greet bond, care for and appreciate. Big show manana. Over the late night blogging lol! And so it is...just like I said,..it should be..Nighty!! Peace n Love :)
Xoxo
Bella

Take it ,like it is!

I have to get this out of my chest! I am single now, determined, and focusing on music like I have been. I cannot stand superficial friends and guys that surround me. Like I owe them something more,when I receive less? Wow, Relationships, I aint  looking.I usually dont. I got a great band,good handset of pals,health ,family thats all I need and want ,and a future I want to make happen sooner than later. If people want to be in my life or cycle then,they need a good head on their shoulders big heart,down to earth...considerate and confident.! Both women and men. I dont need shady snake whores surrounding my presence or player little boys who ruin my creativity and both takes a toll on my energy and so forth. I can only move foward and not  step back. The past is a past for a legitiment reason both relationships,partnerships and even some friends.

I do not care nor wanna know any drama, I dont have time. I dont wanna be in the middle of nothing cause I am who I am and do what I desire. I have goals like any other. Mine require some space distance,and certain needs.So if you dont fall in that category or boat jump off ,move out my way..Im not stopping for no one or will let anything get in my path. I say this with a pure heart  and respect for anybody reading. lets cut the b.s. (you know who you are)..if you feel bad or guilty"Ding Ding" ,you must of done something wrong and know that I am right at this point.Take it like it is or..dont bother knowing me.
Thanks, Peace n Love
 xoxo
Bella

Stuck in Circles.

Sometimes late at night like these.. I question..faith,love and my mind goes in Circles! We all have opinions we share them ..use them, cover them up silently so we cant hurt anothers feelings. I now dont feel for others like I use to. Im not cold..because I dont know what thats like,..but Im curious. Its Ironic, how men treat women and women treat their men. Just plain ol bullshit over and over. Strong women get hurt anyway,weak women are hurt but dont admit or face the facts.You see all these wanna be hot shots with nothing, dogging or using theyre girlfriends. Women being golddigging whores because they have nothing else to offer or self respect. It annoys me ,upsets me,disgusts me to see this! Especially to gals and guys I do know. Snakes. Snakes trying to be buddies with you,to gather info for other snakes. Men using you only for sex,or popularity. Women, to gain attention or connnections. Sick!! This often happens to me too. I cant trust many, but care for alot. So Im stuck. Stuck in the middle.Fighting for faith in them and myself..hoping for love not hate. Whats the point. It goes in circles.. right?. Doesnt filter out. Noone can careless. Ive been optimistic for centuries now, yet I see no change in these same subjects. I pray for peace,and love of course..I receive litte of it...but I am not throwing the white flag.Im simply saying whats on my mind...Anxiety can kick in the current moment. The only good thing is the writting from experiences, I get from all of it. Thats the positive side of the coin. Ive already reached my kind limit. Humble me,always giving into the heart not the brain..f the heart think the brain.. be it! It helps you know. When you care less, and ignore more. My mind is racing. Things have been swell aside of certain little issues and a few individuals. Anything can be resolved or answered. Pondering, lurking, observing I do best. Funny, cause its not what you know or had in mind but what you feeel and see. Seek answers, patience.. and  They shall appear right in front of you. Just a thought..my random bubbles that circle. Everything is a cycle and circles around..lets just hope the bad doesnt repeat over and over to you in circles like it can and has had me stuck. Lets Pray  
xoxo Bella

Cause I Dont give Ahh :)

Hey Boys and Gals!!

Its been forever sinced I blogged. I made time tonite because I usually make time for everyone else but myself really! Well,thats changed. Sooo Much has happened in the past 6 to 8 months.  I made two really neat house music videos  in San Fransisco and Sacramento,  California with the talented Dj/Producers called Verdugo brothers one jam is"Killa Kind" which was explosive on Youtube..insane views, the other is "Your Kiss" but ..we mutually took a break from that side project to pursue other goals for awhile! So just be on the lookout. I recently made a old vision come back to life,by gathering local musicians and started a band which I call "The Saints". Since 2004 it  was when I originally came up with that name and Idea. I really enjoy songwritting..to the point where I closed myself off from the club scene to focus and concentrate on what I love and Im good at. I havent forgotten the real passion here.. the desire to be a true artist and entertainer,having a band of rock & roll music and possibly touring or just plain ol performing again. I missed it so. Anyhow, Im delighted to have such a great group! I mean we had only practiced 3 weeks and performed four complete original songs together wowee! :) With a little help from myself, to arrange compose write and sing the melody worked out in no time.I know that I am not the best vocalist out there but I try,I pull it off and love it! Persistance kept me in line to make this happen. Alone I did. All the songs are based on ol experiences and relateable situations to all. I just really hope it works out in the long run. Its my dream and I havent given up. I may be a petite 28 year old adult..but that doesnt make me weak ,I am actually very strong mentally and through experience so to say. Age matters. I love being close to thirty now. Gosh!!! lol! Okay, Im not that old yet haha..but it makes me realize how far Ive come. Ive been a singer performer  professionally since 12 years old..giging singing kareoke, solo acts,talent groups,traveling opening acts,solo artists,groups,cover bands,acoustic act  & now a real Original rock band!  Amazing! Oh yes, and I havent taken a break.Most people do. Not once have I paused on singing. Meaning I literally been singing since the age of three and Im 28. Do the math.Question is whats next? Will see where this newest exciting humble journey takes me. Ive suffered alot, broken down frowned,felt alone any emotion you can gather Ive felt silently sometimes noticeable but its all worth it to me in the end. So long story short..I can careless what others feel think, say, spit, swallow their pride "be-Cause I dont give ahh" like a lyric line to a my song...all that matters is me music and my life!!  Its all positive vibes, from here on out..redeemed Ive become.I truly hope all goes well for myself the guys and everyone who supports me..the Real friends and fans I know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I dont forget. God bless ,See you soon to a stage near you or further!! :)

Much love,
Bella  xoxo

Mother Goose'...

Hay Ya'll! 
So its been awhile I know. I ve been hella busy with work,music and other things that matter in life. Hope everyone is doing well reading this. A couple weeks ago, 3 to be exact..My dog was acting funny, fatter,hungry for the most part..turns out..she was pregnant! Yes! my innocent lil virgin cocker spaniel got knocked up by my other male dogs big balls lol! okay wanted to add humor. this will be short! I really naturally,became close, these newborn baby pups. All of a sudden , I felt like Mother goose!!! I was and am very protective with them and their surroundings. I get after the mother when shes not breast feeding all the time, even though, im sure she needs a break. LOL! Shes a great mom to be quite frank,but I guess since I am the grandma ..I just wanna be sure their well taken care of in any way.I had a life changing experience watching them being born. It was disgusting yet beautiful to witness life being created and out before my eyes. I, then knew, if my patient loving comfort spaniel can get thru this painful experience?...I can too be a mom!! I always dreamt of being a young hip loving mother.Its sad to say, I yearn for my own lil family since Im the only child,28 and all. I want a average of 2..or whatever god gives me. Im lucky enough.I just hope..as times goes by I can too be a mother one day.. I love youth,kids, Innocence..and the warmth children have ..and offer us loved ones.So long story short..god willing, I hope and pray I can be a lucky mother like my own dog sarah..and be the best I can be..but for now, I'll play mother goose & attend when needed.I do take good care of them,go all out in the wee hours like a real human infant would.. need assistance.To those whom have children, I now understand..the meaning and unconditional love you naturally,humanly ,instinctly..feel.God bless.Love future mother goose :) xoxo bella

This Bottle Is Full ..And Needs To be Spilled Over..

Ahh Here we go again:
I cant help myself...but wonder why do people insist on hurting one another? Seriously we are all alike. In this case, Im mentioning friendships,Mutual Aquantinces. Im a lover not a fighter.I may have become more outspoken throughout the past years ,instead of generalizing which I always did..cause I did not wanna hurt anyones feelings.Well lol! That has completely changed haha! I dont care what people think or say about me anymore.At All! Recently some mutual aquantice,took my ex to my work place and flirted with him all nite.In my book thats girl code to not be partying flirting with your gal pals ex flame. Geezass I mean,cant you get your own men?? I figured maybe this person is in a insecure  place.That was my last draw to women like that.Im super old school,at least if your my friend I would not take that road or approach.Weeks later,this certain individual, had already played the innocent game(gemini) had her bestie write me...well...she screwed over her "Bestie"   as well!! Of many years!! Can you believe this? Insane..women are vicious lol! Thats why I have so many guy friends,and my bf approves,,Im lucky! Aye no, I had given this wicked soul a chance after she screwed over my current bestie!I like to see the good in people ,then the bad.. but I never trust right away ...hell no! I ve had ..even until this day many encounters of whorebag fake friends!! Believe! If,example we dont hangout its for two reasons....and two reasons only(ladies I dont trust you or we really have nothing in common. Thats the way I see things. Its for the best.I rather not waste each others time..so lets cut the crap! You know what I mean? Im sure any guy or girl can relate once to this matter.Im trying realll hard to stay positive on this blog..cause this site is meant for relieve on inner thoughts or curiousities...but when this subject came upon, I just had to let it out,,,before the poison sinks in my ol broken soul.This bottle had been full..and had to be spilled over lol! Women. Cant live with them, cant live without em.I sound like a boy...A tomboy..I am.. but I am a girly girl too! Much love to all .Peace ciao:)
xoxo bella

Everything Zen...

Well it is true. As I go on with everyday hustlin..it actually pays off in mysterious ways.Not too long ago I tried out for American Idol..what a experience) ..and even though I didnt make the cut...there are other opportunities and doors to be open.Ryan Seacrest came up to us and  we met the cool cat! He was very humble (which I love most about people in general)... Cant stand stand offish or conceited people out there who love to brag, anyhow,I realized that its not about If you make it to be famous or who you met..and how much you have done with your current life..but about if you love what you do and how you are you everyday in your life also..letting that TRUE inner light within standout of you too! Its amazing how people that are close to you or dont even know you..see that light!Then you should be at peace or ease with yourself. I recently doubted myself in music and was getting bored..but thats not my case. I branched out to new things and opportunitys that were given to me to see what others view of me for a minute . I see other people with similarities as mine, and see them stall. Stay still.Brag.Compete..ignore whats really important here etc. Im like ok, get over your immaturity and find yourself because we all know what this is really about. In search of myself still at least I admit that ..until the day I do..thats another story lol! I have not been this content with myself and where I'm at in so many years. I got so many things going on at once its insane.I battled alot of inner demons and negative people for so long in my past..I struggled to get out of the darkness that led me on into the nothing it was..and surroundings.So All in all Im doing ok :)..Hope whoever is reading this is as well. My hardwork in other scenarios is def paying off. I met my musical icon gavin rossdale recently one of many not bragging just explaning  ..which was rad and I missed out on so many concerts Im treating myself to this.I got in free,met him for free! Funny huh? Your hardwork will pay off too ..other rewards will be sent out from above.I got involved with promo deals..and was broadcasted on live television internationally throughout the world on telefutura. For golden boy productions which is Oscar de la hoyas deal! I mean..Im not the hottest richest or most popular gal out there in the world.No way! Or better than you reading! Hell to the no!!!Im just like You! Not ordinary but driven I guess! I want keep living and have many more incredible adventures....so ask yourself? Do you know who you are truly? Are you a mask of something we cannot see? Whats your color? Are you happy with yourself and where your at in life? Those questions raise for answers..which makes you answer yourself? Get me? Im Happy...my hardwork is finalllyyyy paying off . I got alot of work to do..So stay tuned!!!In the long search of the complete side of me..until then..Everything Zen! ;) Much love to all Peace.Ciao! xoxo Bella

Positive Energy Or Soul Sister,Rogue???

Sord of a long blog:

..So Lately it's been happening again. I feel as though Im doing more Postive things, because of my POSITIVE energy  and with that,I am accomplishing alot to due it.I don't know if any of you reading right now.. know about the Laws Of Attraction. There is a book based on it,which is very Interesting! It projects that if you feel, think or want positivity in your life..naturally the world will draw that towards your path or Journey. Same as Negative energy as well. Its like your leading ..to have a following ..of  a Energetic form of support  or  Negative Obstacles. Weird right?? Anyhow, as a scale I see both sides.Well all my life Ive had occurances  even till this day..where lights flicker,system shutdowns,cell phones off signal,electricity shocks on the car doors, happen around me in a new place.. the list goes on. I record my own music often with different artists like me.. in studios and the guys ,never fails)say to me..this never happens!! I swear  chels ..you walk in and the brand new program goes off , freezes or whatever.Always in the studio or a new place, I feel like Im effin ROGUE from Xmen or something?? Haha! Is it possible we contain alot of energy that may be mistaken as paranormal?? Is it paranormal? I dont know. Could it be..we humans just obsorb lots of positive & negative Ions..which is like magnetic like in its field.Now Im talking physics...a little complicated much no? Reason to blog it out lol! I continue to try and process this...till 2 days go.I went to a random store out of the blue..just because I needed some retail therapy and I get so bored with the same ol same ol places. I was in a plaza and I walked into Bells... saw some cute shoes I wanted and as..I approached the busy ol lady and young guy for help...FliCk!!The whole lights in the damn store flickered off and on..Then resumed on again.Like a sign!! The lady was startled,she squated as we were being attacked by lights or something and the cool guy too also saying..AYE! LOL! Im use to it but I did pause.I was like OMG..not again. No worries its me..its my energy haha! & they looked at me with a scared face ,like what a freaking weirdo..thats never happened here.What would you think? You cant say that You would not question this so called routine of energetic forces right? Its starting to annoy me.I ve traveled far for certain money making projects and this shit happens all the time. Why me.O why? I have no clue.Last night after my gig..a male medium friend approached me.Had not seen him in forever.He has this inner gift to seek above and beyond the human eyes mind and ears so to speak.So right away,by the way crazy timing I told him..Dude! Something is with me..Something is following me and messing things up or signal or something.He held my hand , grasped my energy flow though me,looked at my palm and said...Wow! This is a good one. No need to worry bella,btw Im called bella at my work places.. thats another subject in another blog)..You have a Soul Sister! A what? A SOUL SISTER! Im like I dont have sisters I am the only child.He said..no she was meant to be born with you but instead shes with you through a spiritual energy.He believes we can and are reincarnated.I m open to the thought, I love God and believe in god so i know there is Heaven and hell. Well..this is different. Its a female following ..kind of like a guardian angel.She wants you to know she is with you still and loves you and is protecting you. You are loved and your strong with her. It made a bit of sense.I do feel like uncontrollable and Intense while performing or being on the stage. When I record I pour my heart & soul out that maybe she channels through my body & mind with the positive energy force.Closed minded makes her sad and alone. She is (now coming from my medium friend,)is wanting to get my attention.It seems as though we all have a brother or soul sister.Do you believe in that or the unknown? Ok for those religious..guardian angels.There so you wont think Im going against the lord because Im not.I m just curious like many to know why this is a on going cycle...it even effects my workplaces and living.e.t.c.What to do?! He said accept her ,talk to her .Pray she is your partner in crime with the energy and music. Sidekick to help you kickass in what you love to do. I laughed but thought how interesting. I should have not questioned it. I say my goodbyes and thanked him for the spontenous visit..crazy timing ,advice he gave me.Made me a spiritualist as of last nite.I went to the ladies room at the bar and noone was in there but me. I admit I was a lil spooked ,got up washed up and then FLUSH from afar another toilet goes off! YIKes I ran out of there like a bat from hell!  Haha.I was shakened up a bit but I forgot it wasn't paranormal.Its my Guardian Angel..she's probably happy that I figured her out again.Shes been with me supposeably through many moons ago lol! If this is true,I will believe it and hopefully things continue to be good or get better as time goes by!So I know I got a great father..GOD himself and Mother Mary Jesus..its pretty lovely to have  a soul sister too!! The unconditional family I cannot see yet but feel In me and  are all around me.This blog is spiritual and beyond.Hope I didnt cause a stir of questions..which can cause anxiety lol! Just had to let it out and share for you readers out there.Maybe you have a similiar spiritual story you wanna share with me.. that can be Inspiring to move foward with happiness and Postives vibes as well.Feel free to let me know or advise I dont mind...because afterall Life or in this life Im living in ..now..thats what I assume life is  about. Peace.&.Much LOVE TO ALL :) ciao,
Xoxo Bella

Fazes & Changes...

I wrote a song a few months ago for a original Jazz feel, based on how my life has changed so much for the better and how relationships fade. Ive had it rough ,like no other in such a way...I was damaged inside..but luckily.. Ive been off that Love hate Road for awhile now. Isn't weird how lovers or friends are suppose to meet? I mean, I lost contact with someone recently then years later poof shes back! Which is great..because some friendships last and some are just for the meantime..for other life lessons of life experiences etc.I was not always a bad person with a bad attitude or bad relationship. I was just going through..a "Faze". A ridiculous one ..but it was too late to get out once your in for the ride at the time. Ive lost best friends..and regained friendships back!! Life is so funny..those curve balls are fast too. lol!I know now, Im still in my prime and I can conquer anything I want or anything I desire in all categories.As any of Ya'll reading this. This by the way, is the complete lighter , opposite side of me haha! Back to the damn libra thing..but I cant help myself.This is who I am.I am both.I love everything and I like to experience all or new changes.Im not trying to fit in. Im just learning new things ..going thru new changes in my present life! Then once I get Bored I pick up either new materials, Music Interest,Hobbies,friends..but with that its hard! It sucks to know that some of my once so called besties from childhood and on..dont have anything in common with me other than old memories?? Am I a bad friend? For not wanting to always hang with them or contact..I mean seriously, we are not in grade or high school anymore.I love certain things a certain way..and if they cant understand or realized then we were just meant to be friends for faze, again life lessons etc. I dont know..I had my reunion recently and a really good friend of mine back then and still.. was not the same friend I  hungout,partied with  in high school.Actually it goes for many.I love church and all but I dont preach about it every minute..and its like we were born into sin you know? I love to drink..I cutt down actually..she insisted she doesn't or wine only. I was bummed. Because these peeps are great people and I hate to come in and corrupt their believes or cycle for living per say.Im not a Mean  person cause I have a big heart..like my family..But Ive Become so confrontational its too much sometimes.Like I said I can be simple, I can be chill, I can be anything really..I can like things you like but it may not faze me. Things I use to love are not fazing me anymore.People I loved to be around dont faze me neither.Im typing away, but I just wanna let it out...shout it loud lol jk! Had to switch the serious mood to silly. SEE! Haha! Anyhow, If you guys think Im an idiot please share your thoughts..Relate, Or whatever you desire to post..I'm just going with the program ..my program and Im getting old so.. your either in or not thats kind of the way I see it now..Fazes & Changes..O well Thats My Life for Ya!!Always.... everyday..till then ciao ciao! PEACE TO ALL!! :) much love
xoxo
Bella

TWO SIDES OF MY SCALES ..

As you already know,through my bio..I am a Entertainer. Many people reconized me through my hometown streets as the performer or girl rocker,singer.e.t.c. I get flattered in a postive way ,because even though im not famous..I always wanted to be heard or known in such a way. It was my dream you know?? But as time goes by ..Im not the same like before .what I mean is..Ive changed and yet the passion is slowing fading out and im scared ill never love the stage again. I was born on a stage.My life is a stage.Music has always been in my family and blood. I know i have to people please and I created this alter ego named "Bella". Now I know what your thinking Oh ..Twilight right? Nope..This was way back when, years in advanced when I made her UP! Bella Is latin for beautiful. We all have insecurities and you cant say your not insecure cause thats a bunch of crap.Your human unless your inhuman lol! I wouldnt believe ya for a sec!Anyway my point is the hardships i experienced made me feel ugly inside,bitter. I noticed the change in me and wanted to get out of the blackhole i was succumbed to. I had to breakthrough it or climb out somehow.Finally after the discovery of suffering depression, I realized things can be ok.Life is beautiful.I remember it vaguely,darkened thoughts that I wanted to dissapear and thats when Bella was born. The lite came through. So it was and has been. This character I pull off is too much,haha I cant keep up with her lol!! Not kidding. Reliving the life I leaded before but with a twist. Kinda like ..I got to change shit around without going back in time or timewarp and making it happen now..in the present..you get me? Pretty Intriguing huh? Yes! I too get lost with it..but now that you know life isnt always peachy in the dark or fastlane..with music..it saved me.Made me. I got to be good on stage and sometimes, hate to say, I Fake a smile once in awhile.You have to. Why would you wanna show your pain or frustration to others? Its happened to me many times in my past where I did it all the time and didnt know..and my close gal pals were annoyed with it, even my exes. Bella wasnt there yet.Time flew and im aging inside too..as soon as I left this harsh enviroment of pain,lust and all thats sad..I discovered who bella is...Not chelsea..Chelsea went through a different slate. Im not stating that im bipolar or schizopr. or split personality. Im speaking as one person.Friends call me by bella. Just so you know. I love this side of me. I love her!! Its the person I always wanted to be.I just had to find her within..cause it is who I am and whom Ive become. I may be babbling on about my thoughts but thats why im in need to blog. Let out the crazyness..so the positiveness can continue to resume in my mind when it does. Bella is beautiful..just a crazy whirlwind of a mess. Such a beauty ,the pain is disquised. Dont judge a book by its cover,they say. Its true. Dont judge me for what I am,what you knew then,or some of you that dont know me..Iam not the same..and you dont know squat. People change.My skin has thickened. I feel sorry for those who do me wrong and wish me harm. Stir frenzy and false accusations. The karma will settle in them and do her routine,as I lay back and watch. I gotta alot in my head ,even I cant figure me out at sometimes..Do any of ya feel me? Have the same thoughts about yourself..and where you are in the moment?? I fuckin do..and it sucks. I m not gonna celebrate it either haha! Who does? No pity here. These are just  thoughts.There are two sides of me...One is good yet crazy,the other is talented and bitchy ,Driven and fearless! Libra here..I guess it all just makes sense...there are Two Sides of A Scale..and thats me..whether you like it or not. Ive Excepted this..and its forever. As for the passion..Maybe thats bella being a bitch lol jk..till next time..Deep thoughts Strenghten the mind.Peace To All! xo